Keegan, a Toilet and The Reason England Fans Must Treasure This Period

Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has always been the safe haven of your Daily, and publications remain attentive to significant toilet tales and milestones, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to discover that a prominent writer a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room a little too literally, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And who can forget during his peak popularity playing for City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college for toilet purposes during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired where the toilets were, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager following a short conversation within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, saying quietly: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his tenure as national coach “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

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Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a freezing stare. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|